Pain, Prayer, and Letting Go
Towards the end of my dad’s journey, things changed quickly.
His oncologist advised us to start palliative care.
I’m deeply grateful for the team at HCA Hospice. Their care was calm, compassionate, and came at no cost to us. The doctors and nurses visited regularly. They prepared me for what to expect—physically, emotionally, spiritually. That support made a big difference.
The Last Phase
The doctor gave us an estimate: “About a month.”
I nodded and held back my tears.
Dad’s condition worsened day by day. He needed morphine—first as a patch, then medicine, and eventually through a syringe as swallowing became difficult. He was in pain. Deep pain. Some nights, I would hear him shouting. His room was next to mine, and I would rush over.
I massaged him with anti-inflammatory essential oils, hoping to ease his pain. Sometimes it helped… but very quickly the pain returned.
Sleepless and Exhausted
I stopped sleeping properly.
I didn’t want to leave the house.
I was tired—physically, emotionally, mentally.
It was the most difficult part of my caregiving journey.
I stayed strong on the outside, but inside, I was crumbling.
One day, I couldn’t bear to see him suffer anymore.
I went to the temple and prayed, “Please let him go peacefully. Don’t let him be in pain.”
A Peaceful Goodbye
That afternoon, his brother and sister came to visit, as usual. I was in my room working when my uncle shouted for me—Dad had asked for me.
I went to him. We sat and talked for a while.
It was quiet and gentle.
That night, he passed away.
It was 12:30 a.m.
A Comforting Sign
I’m not a very religious person. But I believe some things are beyond explanation.
To me, this was a sign of relief—for him, and for all of us.
He had held on long enough. And now, it was time to rest.
His Final Wishes
Weeks before he left, he gathered us and shared simple words.
He told my brother and me:
“Don’t bully your mum after I’m gone.”
It was such a fatherly thing to say.
Simple, yet full of love. His love for his wife, for our family.
Next, I’ll share the other side of caregiving—the emotional rollercoaster, how I found support, and what it meant to speak up for my own needs as a caregiver.