Did I Miss My Caregiving Days?
It has been five years since my father left us.
Sometimes people ask if I miss my caregiving days. I pause for a while before I answer. The truth is—I don’t miss the fatigue. I don’t miss the countless medical appointments, hospital queues, or the times I didn’t sleep well for days. Caregiving was exhausting, physically and emotionally.
But I do miss the time spent with my dad.
Because of caregiving, I got to be with him almost every day. We ate together. We chatted. We went out on slow walks. We found joy in simple things, like sitting on a bench or sharing food from the hawker centre.
These are memories I hold close to my heart.
And no, I wouldn’t trade them for anything else.
More Than a Role—It Was a Season of Life
Caregiving changed my daily routine. It slowed me down. It pulled me away from work sometimes, and from my own plans. But it also gave me a season where I could be fully present with my father.
We were never in a rush.
There was no need to plan far ahead.
Each day was simply about how he was feeling, and what we could do together.
Grateful for the Journey
Not everyone gets this kind of time with their loved ones. I know that. And I’m thankful I did.
Even though it was tiring, even though I broke down a few times, I look back now with a quiet heart. I’m proud that I showed up for my father every step of the way. I’m grateful for the people who supported me too—family members who stepped in when I needed a breather, and friends who kept me company when I didn’t want to talk but needed someone around.
In His Words
One of the most comforting moments came from a simple sentence. My father once told a friend when she visited,
“Hui Fang took very good care of me. If not, I would have left already.”
When I heard that, I knew my love and effort had reached him. That is more than enough.
Next in this series, I’ll share about how we found out about his illness—how we missed some early signs, and how one unexpected check-up became the best birthday gift that gave us more time together.